Off the Cuff Reviews Grease (1978)

This is one of those situations that I dread as a critic. Having to write a somewhat negative review for a beloved classic; I can already hear the hate coming in. That's not to say I hate this movie, but do I like it? Ehhh... I guess. To me, Grease (1978) is only okay. I've seen it several times now, and I still don't quite understand the mass appeal that's kept it relevant in popular culture to this day. Hear me out. Just hear me out. Starring John Travolta as Danny Zuko, Olivia Newton-John as Sandy Olsson, Stockard Channing as Betty Rizzo, Jeff Conaway as Kenickie Murdoch, Barry Pearl as Doody, Michael Tucci as Sonny Lantieri, Kelly Ward as Putzie, Didi Conn as Frenchy, Jamie Donnelly as Jan, Dinah Manoff as Marty Maraschino, Eve Arden as Principal McGee, Dody Goodman as Secretary Blanche Hodel, Sid Caesar as Coach Vince Calhoun and Frankie Avalon as Teen Angel.

Grease (1978)

Alright, let me start out with my least controversial opinion: the music is by far the best thing about this movie. This is the one aspect of the movie that I find has held up extraordinarily well. As I mentioned, I've seen this movie multiple times, but before watching it for the purposes of this review, it had been many years since I'd seen it. And, yet, I knew basically every word of every song. They're catchy, memorable, perfectly placed in the context of the movie, and the songs are good enough on their own that they work outside of that context as well. 'Grease is the Word', 'Summer Lovin', 'Hopelessly Devoted to You', 'Greased Lightning', 'You're the One That I Want', 'We Go Together', all of them are great. 'Born To Hand Jive' is clearly the best, and it's the one that I find myself humming the most when the movie's not on.

Stockard Channing as Rizzo

The songs are also sung well, and all the actors are very talented singers. Olivia Newton-John probably has the best voice, but that might just be because Sandy has the biggest vocal range. It also really helps that everyone in the cast has great chemistry with each other. The T-Birds act like a tight-knit group of friends, as do the Pink Ladies. The way they all interact with each other is great to watch; it comes across like they really have known each other for years and years. Each of them has a specific role in their individual friend circles, which is something a lot of other friendship groups like this in movies don't get right. John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John also have really good chemistry with each other, especially by the end, and their voices sound great together, both of which are elements of the romance that help save it in the end, though I'll get back to that shortly. The cast also do a great job with the more humourous moments overall, and I'd forgotten how funny this movie could be at times. The T-Birds in particular are great comedic foils, and the Principal/Secretary dynamic is always hilarious.

Olivia Newton-John as Sandy

Sadly, this is where the praise stops, as I now have to address my problems with this movie. One of the big issues is that film has dated significantly in the last 40 years. A lot of the elements of the story just don't hold up anymore. Call it 'a product of the times', and the fact that it's set in the 50s is certainly contributes to that, but it doesn't make some of this stuff not bad. Things like lifting girls' dresses being played for laughs, the general attitudes of a lot of the main cast, and, my main problem: Danny Zuko himself. I'm sorry, this character would not be the hero figure in a story made today. His aggression, his spineless nature, the way he treats Sandy; he did not deserve the happy ending in this story. Exhibit A: he comes on too strong with his date, ignores her protests, then once she runs off on him, sings a song about how he's not sure why she did it. Maybe, if his character was the one with the main arc by the end, it might be fine, but Sandy's the one who ends up changing for him, not the other way around. Whether or not the initial intention was 'This is how far I'm willing to go for you, Danny, now shape up and do the same for me' or not, it just doesn't come across.

John Travolta as Danny Zuko

In fact, the story itself is the weakest element of this story by far. I find the main story incredibly boring, to the point where several times I'd forgotten about key plot elements in the story before they happened, and, remember, I've seen this movie several times before. Until the lead in, I'd completely forgotten 'Beauty School Dropout' was even a thing at all. The entire 'Danny plays sports' plot thread ultimately led to nothing. Even the school dance scene, which is great, is marred by the plot. The whole reason for Sonny and Cha-Cha interrupting Danny and Sandy seems very half-baked, and Sandy being as mad as she was didn't make sense, especially considering how clearly not on board Danny was with the whole thing. Honestly, this is the main reason I don't hold this movie in such a high regard. In my opinion, the entire movie is just a great song, then a bunch of noise while waiting for the next song to come on. In that sense, just listening to the soundtrack is much better, and takes up less of your time. That said, there is juuuuuust enough to the movie that I would justify taking the time out to watch it occasionally. Maybe not religiously, like a lot of people do, but every now and then, it's fine for a watch.

Jeff Conaway as Kenickie

Grease (1978) is another one of those classics that I just don't think is as good as people say it is, although I do find it entertaining enough overall to say the positives outweigh the negatives. Only a little bit, though. Like it if you want, it's just not for me. 6.5/10.

Off the Cuff Reviews South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)

I've literally been sitting at my computer for the last 5 minutes trying to think of a way to begin this review. An exclamation of joy, a statement about the show, some philosophical talk about what movies can be, but nothing feels appropriate. I really don't think that would be in the spirit of the movie I just saw. South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999) is truly unlike any movie I've seen, and I'm glad I got the chance to see it. Starring Trey Parker as Stan Marsh/Eric Cartman/Gregory/Satan/Mr. Garrison/Mr. Hat/Phillip Niles Argyle/Randy Marsh/Clyde Donovan/Midget in a Bikini/Adolf Hitler and others, Matt Stone as Kyle Broflovski/Kenny McCormick/Saddam Hussein/Terrance Henry Stoot/Big Gay Al/Stuart McCormick/Gerald Broflovski/Butters Stotch and others, Mary Kay Bergman as Liane Cartman/Sheila Broflovski/Sharon Marsh/Carol McCormick/Wendy Testaburger/Clitoris and others, and Isaac Hayes as Chef Jerome McElroy.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)

First of all, I'd like to address how genius the premise of this movie is. The entire point of the film is everyone getting worked up over foul language being used in a movie, which I'm sure echoes sentiments being thrown around about the show at the time, and maybe even today. This kind of satire is exactly what makes the show so great. I'm not a die-hard fan of the show, but I've seen the first couple of seasons, and a handful of later episodes, and it's definitely something I'd be interested in catching up on at some point. The writing in this movie feels true to the show, as if a regular episode was extended by 400% and made somehow crazier. Because, yeah, things take an insane turn multiple times over the course of this movie. It's patently ridiculous how much things escalate and how quick, that a little kid being sent to hell just feels normal by the end. And it's wonderful. With the internal logic of the show, watching everything get so f***ing out of hand is just beautiful, and the organised chaos of the whole thing was written so intelligently, you have to respect it, regardless of how juvenile everything is.

Matt Stone as Terence and Trey Parker as Philip

The animation is wonderful to watch. I love the style of the stilted, felt-like world of South Park. The characters' movements, the minimalist backgrounds, it's so deliberately low-effort that when it gets bigger and there are more characters and more movements happening on screen at a time, it just looks amazing. I said 'low-effort', but I'm sure there's a lot of work that goes into making everything look the way it does. I'm not sure if it's fully CGI or if it's something more akin to stop-motion (though I'd wager it's the former) and either way it looks great. What's really impressive, however, is how the animation style of South Park blends seamlessly with other computer effects, namely the sequence where Kenny gets sent to hell. I was in awe throughout that entire scene, and it happens a few other times throughout the movie as well. Then you get the incredibly, incredibly low-effort moments like Saddam Hussein's animation and all 3 styles just work hand-in-hand with each other to produce something that looks truly unique.

Matt Stone as Kenny & Trey Parker as Satan

The songs in this movie are especially good. I'm familiar with some of Matt Stone & Trey Parker's other musical work, and I've been impressed before, but this takes the cake. They use typical tropes of musicals and flip them on their heads, like being super crass and pessimistic in the uplifting 'lovely day' opening number that you usually get. Not only are the songs well written and perfectly placed, but each and every one is a banger. They're all toe-tapping gifts to the ears, and I'm sure with a few more listens, these will become part of my regular 'shower-singing' repertoire. I saw 'a few more listens' as this is one of the few problems I have with the movie is that, in moments, the lyrics can become a little muffled and hard to understand. This is mainly when there are lots of people singing at the same time, like the back ends of Blame Canada and Mountain Town Reprise, as well as La Resistance. I'm not sure how this could have been remedied, other than slowing it down a little, which would also be a little distracting in some moments. I'm not a music creator, so I wouldn't know, but, on a first watch at least, some of the lyrics, could be a little difficult to understand. I'm sure, once I get to know the songs better, I'll be able to pick up on the lyrics better, but the first time round, a lot of it was lost on me.

Mary Kay Bergman as Sheila

The voice acting is wonderful, as well. Stone & Parker provide the majority of the voices, and they're all juuuuuuuuust distinctive enough that I can call them varied performances. It's was to the point where I was surprised by some of the characters they voiced when it came time to list their credits, so there's that. I also love the main actor that voiced the female characters, Mary Kay Bergman, and I genuinely thought they got multiple different actors to do so many voices. Isaac Hayes plays Chef, and he's absolutely my favourite character in the series, from the episodes I've seen and this movie. I was also utterly shocked to find that George Clooney played a part in this film, and I still can't pick out which character he played. Of course, these voice performances go hand-in-hand with the writing, which is hands down the best part of the movie. It's just so quick, and there's joke after joke after joke, and they all land. It uses immaturity to disguise how legitimately clever the movie is, and that's the kind of humour I like the most when it's done right.

Isaac Hayes as Chef

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999) absolutely does it right. This was a delight to watch, and I'm sure to return to it in the future. I'll also be checking out more of the show, and I'm glad there wasn't some entry barrier, such as prior knowledge of the series. Mainly because it doesn't screw with my OCD. 9/10.

Off the Cuff Reviews Toy Story 4 (2019)

I still feel really weird about doing these movies out of order, but here we are. It's the movie that I, and many others, didn't want to exist. The previous movie was so good and ended things so well that adding another chapter to the story felt wrong. Fortunately, Toy Story 4 (2019) ended up being a worthy inclusion to the Toy Story saga, and while it's not my favourite Toy Story movie, I'm glad it exists, which is more than I thought I'd be saying after the announcement. Starring Tom Hanks as Woody, Tim Allen as Buzz Lightyear, Annie Potts as Bo Peep, Tony Hale as Forky, Keegan-Michael Key as Ducky, Jordan Peele as Bunny, Madeleine McGraw as Bonnie, Christina Hendricks as Gabby Gabby, Keanu Reeves as Duke Caboom, Ally Maki as Giggle McDimples and Joan Cusack as Jessie.

Toy Story 4 (2019)

Right from the opening scene, this movie makes it clear why this story was necessary to tell. Toy Story 3 was this big, grandiose adventure, and Toy Story 4 is far more personal. The opening scene with Bo Peep being given away makes that abundantly clear. It's rare that all of my doubts about a movie can be quashed within 5 minutes, but there we go. This movie did it. Quick note: how far have we come with animation since Toy Story 1? It's really easy to be disenfranchised by CGI nowadays, since really good animation is becoming commonplace, but I'm always going to be impressed by it. The rain effects and the way the water shines off the plastic toys, the lighting effects in the sun, the human characters... the human characters! Do you remember how off they looked 20 years ago? Comparing the dog from Toy Story 1 to the cat from Toy Story 4 is just... well, there is no comparison. I think it mainly comes down to attention to detail; imperfections in the skin and plastic that make everything seem just that little bit more real.

Tom Hanks as Woody and Annie Potts as Bo Peep

I mentioned that this movie was a more personal story. To a certain extent, all the Toy Story films are personal stories, but this feels like the most personal. It's all about Woody, and his arc in this movie is really compelling. A toy that wants to be helpful who is no longer helpful; that's just inherently interesting, and the opening act does a great job of setting up where Woody is in this movie. Bringing Bo Peep back was a great choice, as I always liked their relationship in the earlier Toy Story movies, and Tom Hanks and Annie Potts have great chemistry. Woody in general is such a great character. I love his unwavering stubbornness, and the Woody in this movie really feels like the natural progression from where the character's come from in the rest of the series. To a certain extent, the way Buzz is used makes it feel like they just threw him in because they had to, as he's not super integrated with the main plot, but that's really only a minor quibble, since I do like how he was used. The 'inner voice' jokes were consistently effective, and varied enough by the end that I didn't mind that it really was the only joke Buzz got in the entire movie.

Tim Allen as Buzz

I really like all the new characters they introduced in this story, particularly Forky. Forky as a concept is a really great one, and it makes the world of Toy Story feel a lot bigger than it did in the past. Knowing that it's not some manufacturing trick that brings the toys to life but is instead the children themselves just makes the whole thing feel a lot more magical. Forky on his own is a great character as well. They rode the 'trash' jokes as long as they could before switching tactics, turning Forky into a wide-eyed, almost childlike innocent, and his naivety as he's learning about the world is really great to watch. Duck and Bunny also ended up being far less unbearable than they looked like they were going to be from the trailers. They ended up being really funny, though I guess that was inevitable when you cast Key & Peele as a duo. I'll be honest, I wasn't as enthralled with Duke Caboom as the rest of the internet seemed to be. I feel like everyone jumped aboard the Keanu hype train and didn't notice that the character wasn't really that funny. I laughed, don't get me wrong, but with a character like Duke Caboom, I feel like he could have been much funnier.

Tony Hale as Forky

You might notice I haven't talked about the other returning characters from the Toy Story series, and that's because the movie sidelines them in a really disappointing way. I feel like the heart of these movies, or a part of it, has been the family unit that was the group of Andy's toys, and seeing them stuck in the RV, and not even cutting back to them all that often, was a little, like I said, disappointing. In general, the movie seemed a lot slower than past Toy Story movies, which wasn't inherently a problem on its own, since it allowed for the more personal story to shine through. The downside is that the movie was lacking a final act intensity that you normally get with a Toy Story movie. The stakes never seemed as high as they have in the past, and I'm not saying you have to go to the level that Toy Story 3 did, but the climax was basically the first movie's final act all over again, just less tense or exciting. Part of that comes from the lack of a real villain. Gabby Gabby was a great character, but, by her nature, not really a villain. Not every story needs a villain, but this one really felt like it did, as there needed to be an external force making things harder for our heroes. I've been a little hard on this movie's finale, since there's one thing it did that elevates it a little higher: it made me cry. The personal payoff worked, and just in case you haven't seen it, I don't want to spoil it, since it's worth going in blind. I feel like Toy Story 3's ending might have been a little sadder, on a more fundamental level, but this one hit me harder.

Christina Hendricks as Gabby Gabby

So, yeah, Toy Story 4 (2019) is a movie that I'm glad was made. It's not the best, it's really just a good Toy Story movie, but a good Toy Story movie still equals a great movie overall. Let me put it this way: after seeing this movie, I wouldn't be upset if they announced Toy Story 5, since seeing this movie has given me faith they would only do that if they had a good idea for it. 8/10.

Off the Cuff Reviews Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)

This was an important movie for Marvel to get right. It needed to function as not only a sequel to Spider-Man: Homecoming, but also a semi-sequel to Avengers: Endgame, not to mention an epilogue to the Infinity Saga and a little taste of what we can expect from the MCU moving forward. Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) fulfills all of these requirements in perhaps the best way it could, and they managed to find the best balance between all of these elements while not really compromising any one of them. Starring Tom Holland as Peter Parker / Spider-Man, Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury, Zendaya as Michelle 'MJ', Cobie Smulders as Agent Maria Hill, Jon Favreau as Harold 'Happy' Hogan, J.B. Smoove as Mr. Bell, Jacob Batalon as Ned Leeds, Martin Starr as Mr. Harrington, Marisa Tomei as May Parker and Jake Gyllenhaal as Quentin Beck / Mysterio.

Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)

One thing I'll say early on, since it is important to clarify, is that if you're going into this movie expecting anything tonally similar to what happened in Endgame, you will be disappointed. This movie deals with a lot of the fallout from the events of Infinity War and Endgame, true, but it focuses a lot more on how it personally affected Peter than anything else, as this is first and foremost a sequel to Spider-Man: Homecoming. It just happens to take place in a world that is post-Endgame. In fact, I like what we see of the world after 'The Blip', as it's become known as. The movie acknowledges that half of the world suddenly returning after five years isn't going to be 100% sunshine and rainbows. Of course, there's not too much of a focus on it, and I wouldn't want there to be, but what we see is enough. I also like how it takes the events and puts more of a light-hearted spin on them. The fact that the movie acknowledges there's going to be a funny side of 'The Blip' is just accurate.

Tom Holland as Peter Parker

This is a funny movie in general, really. It's the same world as Spider-Man: Homecoming, and it has a very similar sense of humour. It's pretty consistent with it's jokes, to the point where they don't seem to mind if the odd joke doesn't land, they just move on. That being said, there's a little more variety to the jokes being told here, and that comes from the movie taking place in Europe as opposed to Queens. I like the backdrops that the movie uses, it makes it feel more unique. Seeing an action setpiece in, say, Prague or Venice is a hell of a lot more interesting than a fight scene set in another American city. The fight scenes are also really well choreographed. They're incredibly entertaining, and the Elementals are used really well in this regard. They're very unique villains, especially considering what we've had before, and the way they're used services Peter's story nicely. It's also great seeing Mysterio in action, and the CGI used throughout is stunning. Some sequences are drop-dead gorgeous, although, for the sake of not revealing spoilers, I can't say which ones, but you'll know when you see them.

Jake Gyllenhaal as Mysterio

I mentioned Mysterio in the upper paragraph, so now's as good a time as any to talk about him: I like how he was used. Jake Gyllenhaal did an excellent job with this character; he has the charisma and charm that you'd want a character like this to have. He plays the uncle figure well, and has great chemistry with Tom Holland, who is once again fantastic in the role of Spider-Man. I really hope Spider-Man becomes a key figure in the MCU moving forward. Maybe not to the extent that Iron Man was in the past, but I really would like to see more of Tom Holland in this role. He also had excellent chemistry with Zendaya, and her inclusion in this movie proves she and this world's version of MJ can handle themselves in more of a starring role compared to the brief appearances in Homecoming. They took that character and applied MJ to it in a very natural way, and I love the relationship between this MJ and this Peter Parker. There are going to be the purists who say this 'isn't how it is in the comics' but I don't care. This is a different interpretation, and I'll take this MJ over Kirsten Dunst's MJ any day of the week. Jacob Batalon once again kills it as the comic relief, Jon Favreau turns in arguably his best performance as Happy to date, and Cobie Smulders and Samuel L. Jackson are always welcome as Maria HIll and Nick Fury. 

Zendaya as MJ

So, I'll admit, I'm sitting there in the theatre watching the movie, and enjoying myself, but I wasn't really considering it in the upper echelon of Marvel's best. The first half of the movie is just a little bit slow in that regard. It's not bad, but there's a lot more down-time, maybe a bit too much. As much as I liked Mr. Harrington in the first movie, giving him a bigger focus here, even if it isn't too big a focus, wasn't a good idea. The jokes involving his character just weren't landing that much, though adding in J.B. Smoove to the dynamic was an excellent touch. The first half also had maybe one too many 'isn't this awkward' jokes. In any case, I was having a good time, but it wasn't really comparing well to other Marvel films, especially off the back of Endgame. Then, about halfway through, there's a bit of a shift, and the movie suddenly becomes amazing. I'm serious, the second half of this film is honestly perfect. The jokes are well paced with the more dramatic stuff, they tackle more of the emotion, some of those sequences with the exquisite CGI come in, the action is at it's peak, it's all firing on full cylinders. I can't exactly reveal why, but trust me, it's amazing. I don't normally talk about the post-credits scenes, since they typically don't really factor into how I judge a Marvel film, but the two post-credits scenes in this movie are easily among the best in the MCU, and neither of them are purely there for comedy's sake.

Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury and Cobie Smulders as Maria Hill

So, yeah, Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) began as just a pretty good superhero movie, and by the end became something beautiful. I'd suggest checking it out in cinemas before you get spoiled; you'll want to go into this one knowing as little as possible, trust me. 9/10.

Off the Cuff Reviews Kung Pow! Enter the Fist (2002)

I find myself in a weird situation with this one. I know that lately in pretty much every review I've said the current movie is one of the more unique ones I've seen, and... yeah, that's the case here as well. I'll be getting in the specifics in a bit, but for now just now that Kung Pow! Enter the Fist (2002) is one of the most delightfully bonkers movies I've ever seen. It's stupid, it makes no sense, it's completely childish, and it's all the better for it. I almost have to throw every rule I have about critiquing something out the window for this one. This is going to be a task. Starring Steve Oedekerk as The Chosen One, Hui Lou Chen as Master Tang, Fei Lung as Master Pain / Betty, Ling Ling Tse as Ling and Jennifer Tung as Whoa.

Kung Pow! Enter the Fist (2002)

One thing that's important to remember going in is that this movie is at least partly comprised of old footage from a 1976 Hong Kong martial arts film called Tiger & Crane Fists or Savage Killers. I can't speak to the quality of that movie, as I've never seen it, and I'm not sure how much of this movie's plot is borrowed from the original source material. For the purposes of this review, I'm largely going to stick to the original content from Kung Pow itself. I may mention a few performances here and there, but otherwise, anything I talk about in this review, I will credit to Kung Pow since, shockingly, I really don't know which clips belong to which movie some of the time. I mean, in some cases, obviously certain scenes are Kung Pow originals, like the scene where he fights a cow, for example, but the movie does a surprisingly good job of blending Steve Oedekerk into the original film, and there are some shots I was certain were made specifically for this film before the credits sequence showed how they inserted Steve in. The fact that I was so impressed by certain moments just made it all the more obvious, however, when they simply uses a crude green screen insert.

Steve Oedekerk as The Chosen One

The writing in this movie is some of the sharpest I've seen in a satire, or even a comedy, period. There are a lot of really great jokes here, and they don't always go the obvious route. Going back to the cow scene, as soon as the cow started fighting by squirting its milk at The Chosen One, I was worried that would just be the whole joke, but it's not. They get a lot of material out of it, as a less intelligent satire would have just left the joke as 'The cow squirts milk on him'. They also get a lot of great material out of content from the original movie itself. There are certain jokes that play off the action off what's happening on screen, and a lot of them flat out ignore the context of what would be happening in the original story at that moment, but others certainly don't. I need to know what was happening in the original movie where the guy is dying in the bed and the other guy just keeps rubbing his chest. That needs an explanation. In general, the movie satirizes the martial arts genre really well. It hits a lot of the basic story beats, follows the typical 'Chosen One' narrative well enough, and lampoons enough of the tropes to hit that sweet spot a satire like this really needs to hit, where it makes fun of the typical cliches of the martial arts genre, but it's all coming from a place of respect. Even the fight scenes are hilariously choreographed. They're fast, energetic and completely silly. The entire movie can be summed up like that, actually. There's jokes coming at you constantly, so even if the odd joke doesn't land, the movie just carries on to the next joke like it wasn't even there. That's the power of a good comedy: it can make you forget when it's not doing its job.

Ling Ling Tse as Ling

I was all ready to go off about how obvious a lot of the dubbing is. From the first scene, it's completely apparent that not only are the lines dubbed, but that the voices really don't match the characters. Then, Steve Oedekerk opens his mouth and he's also dubbed and the whole thing becomes abundantly clear. It's meant to be like that. It's another satire of the horrendous dubbing seen in a lot of foreign movies. It takes a bit of getting used to, especially to commit to it for an entire feature film, but it really works for the script. Steve Oedekerk does the dubbing for pretty much every character, and he manages to get a lot of range out of his performance here. Every character has basically the right voice for the material and the wrong voice for the original actor's portrayal, even, strangely, his own, which, again, just makes the whole thing even better. It's not worth commenting on the way he portrays his own character; just like everything else in the movie, it's wonderfully over-the-top and ridiculous. The only actor that gets a unique dubbing is Jennifer Tung, who plays Whoa who, I'm pretty sure, is an original character for this movie. I know I said the line was a little blurry, but this is another instance where I'm pretty sure this was an original creation. Anyway, she does well in her role, although the inclusion of her character makes the need for... Mu-Shu Fasa a little redundant, since both characters play the same kind of character. You could have just had Whoa appear in that one scene to talk about the 'stars above' or whatever; adding another character like that just made the whole thing a little bloated.

Jennifer Tung as Whoa

In a movie like this, I usually reserve the final paragraph for the things I didn't like about the movie, but this is where I come back to that 'throwing all the rules for critiquing out the window' thing I mentioned before. For the most part, anything that could be seen as 'bad' about the movie actually ended up enhancing the experience overall. It goes hand-in-hand with the kind of movie this is. The crappy CGI? It had to be that way. The poor dubbing? Already brought it up. The bad green screening? Adds to the charm. From the outset, the movie lets you know that this isn't going to be the highest form of cinema and so doesn't even try to be. Even when things are 'bad', everything has a purpose and was done so for a reason. At the end of the day, the only things I can nitpick are the moments when the film breaks its own internal logic. I mentioned the Mu-Shu Fasa rendundancy, but there's also the moments where the original actor for whoever 'The Chosen One' replaced in this film is clearly still there and when Oedekerk hadn't refilmed certain shots. Those are mainly present in wide shots, but it was still noticeable in some areas. Even still, that's not a big list of negatives. And yet, critics gave this movie an 11% on Rotten Tomatoes. Granted, this isn't a 100% movie, it's not for everyone, but 11%? I hate to say 'they just didn't get the point', but they just didn't get the point. The fact that it is so stupid and non-sensical and 'bad' is why it's so amazing.

Fei Lung as Betty

Kung Pow! Enter the Fist (2002) is genuinely one of the most enjoyable experiences I've had watching a movie. There's certainly better films out there, but for what this movie is, it's in a league of its own. Critically, I have to rate it a little lower than what I know in my heart the movie means to me subjectively, but I feel like I'm being fair enough on both counts. 9/10.

Off the Cuff Reviews Dogma (1999)

Religion is a hot-button subject at the best of times, so when a movie tries to exploit it for comedy, things can get dicey pretty quickly. There's a very fine line between satire and flat-out insulting a large percentage of the population, and especially with religion that line can be quite difficult or even impossible to navigate. Dogma (1999) pulls it off probably better than any film could, and I'm actually really impressed by it. I kind of thought I was going to like this movie after the first couple of minutes. I didn't know I was going to love it. Starring Ben Affleck as Bartleby, Matt Damon as Loki, Linda Fiorentino as Bethany Sloane, Jason Lee as Azrael, Salma Hayek as Serendipity, Alan Rickman as Metatron, Chris Rock as Rufus, Jason Mewes as Jay and Kevin Smith as Silent Bob.

Dogma (1999)

Alright, so what is it about this movie that gets the balance absolutely right? It's weird to say this, but it treats the Bible like any other text made for adapting to the screen. It keeps the basic stuff, but makes changes to the story that better suit the story they're telling. Adding in a 13th Apostle, Jesus' siblings, and they're able to explain it all in a way that, again, really suits the story. They're also able to poke fun at the Bible (and religion in general) while not coming across as either too aggressive or too evangelical, which is another tough line to walk. If you're a religious nut, you're probably not going to find loving this movie an easy task, but the movie explains in its first 30 seconds that it's not meant to be taken seriously (in the best way possible, mind) so if after that you're still upset with the liberties this movie takes, you're just hating for the sake of hating. In a weird way, I'd like to see more movies do this. I'm not a particularly religious person, but I was raised Catholic, so I'm seeing both sides here, and I really think more movies should tell stories loosely adapting the Bible like this. Not only is there a lot of potential for jokes and narratives, but there are many divisive issues that are worth discussing as a result, especially today.

Matt Damon as Loki and Ben Affleck as Bartleby

Because, yeah, this is a comedy, but the movie will slow down occasionally to discuss issues relating to religion without really offering an answer, which is honestly the best way to go about it in a theological discussion like this. Faith is something that I would never want to take away from someone, but I can see why people might not have any, and this film approaches this issue from a very intelligent angle. It doesn't pick one side and let it win against the other; it barely picks a side at all. It just raises the issues to let the audience think for themselves about the answers, which at the end of the day really is the central focus of the story. In that sense, this is a really rare thing for a comedy to do, and the fact that it works not only in tandem with the story, but also the jokes, is certainly impressive. And, when the comedy does come in, it's really well done too. Few jokes failed to get at least a smile out of me, and the majority got genuine laughs. It's not a laugh-fest 100% of the time, but it's not trying to be. It's the kind of comedy I really like to see, and even to write, where they'll take breaks and address what's going on with the characters, bring the energy down and get serious for a moment, and then when that moment's had the chance to breath, get back to the laughs. The devil made of s*** tried my patience at first, admittedly, but the pay-off by the end was good, so I can let it slide, so to speak.

Linda Fiorentino as Bethany

This film has a pretty extensive main cast, which would be an issue if not everyone was given enough time to be properly developed on their own terms, but they really are. Like with basically everything else in this movie, the balance was perfect. The central focus is on Bethany, and I really liked her character arc here. A more simple film would have had her journey go from athiest to Catholic when she learned the truth, but this movie takes a different approach. What was it... something along the lines of 'You can be who you were before, and who you need to be'... I don't know, I'm very much paraphrasing there, but that line sums up her journey wonderfully, and it's the type of character arc I wish we'd see more often. Linda Fiorentino does a fine job in the role, I just wish she emoted a little more. Don't get me wrong, when she needs to make a big choice in the emotion or the character, she does well, but in the majority of conversations, she's very one-note, and it did get distracting. The other focus is on Matt Damon and Ben Affleck as the disgraced angels. Angels in general are always interesting characters to develop, as there's a lot you can do with their lore, and the way they're presented here is interesting. This conversation about angels vs humans and why God seems to have more patience with humans is an especially intriguing story to tell, and Affleck delivers that monologue in particular wonderfully. Affleck and Damon do excellent jobs of playing off each other throughout, and they have great chemistry with each other. I like how naturally their characters sort of swap their intentions at around the halfway point, and there were moments that I really felt genuine sympathy for them, despite the things they'd done.

Alan Rickman as Metatron

The supporting cast are all excellent as well. Alan Rickman is, of course, brilliant. He finds that perfect balance between dignified and ridiculous, and, let's be honest, who else would you pick for the voice of God? This is actually the first role I've seen him in that wasn't Severus Snape. I have to say... I really miss him. Anyway, Chris Rock and Salma Hayek do really well here as well. They have their stand-out moments and never do anything to upstage any of the mains, and I especially like how reserved Chris Rock was while still coming across very Chris Rock-ish. Jason Lee does great as Azrael as well. His motivations made complete sense by the end, which I bring up only because I was worried they wouldn't be able to explain away why he was doing what he was doing. But, no, they managed it. But, of course, I can't not mention Jay and Silent Bob here. These are characters that had appeared in some of Kevin Smith's other work in the past, and I was concerned that these established characters would either be given no time to be reintroduced to new audiences here, or would be completely out of place in the world of Gods and demons. But, honestly, without these two, Dogma wouldn't be Dogma. They brought this extra level of humour and much-needed levity to the experience. Especially considering the heavy subject matter and stakes, you need Jason Mewes to say some perfectly delivered nonsense to cut the tension, and you need Kevin Smith's amazing facial expressions to react to the insanity of the story. I really want to check out other things these characters were in now, as I already love them.

Jason Mewes as Jay and Kevin Smith as Silent Bob

And I also love Dogma (1999). Maybe it's just because it's such a unique movie in terms of its subject matter and it pulls it off in a way that was both tasteful but also scathingly satirical... I can't not love a movie that comes together so intelligently. 9/10.

Off the Cuff Reviews Police Academy (1984)

It's amazing to find a movie that knows what it wants to be and is unashamedly, unapologetically going with it, no matter what. Police Academy (1984) is that movie. It's a movie that takes the very idea of a movie taking itself in any way seriously and tossing it out the window in favour of just being stupid. This is a stupid, stupid movie, and it's proud of that. Starring Steve Guttenberg as Carey Mahoney, Kim Cattrall as Karen Thompson, Bubba Smith as Moses Hightower, Donovan Scott as Leslie Barbara, G. W. Bailey as Lt. Thaddeus Harris and George Gaynes as Commandant Eric Lassard.

Police Academy (1984)

Now, don't get me wrong. When I say 'stupid', I don't mean that it's bad. Far from it. A movie is allowed to have ridiculous things happen and physics-breaking moments as long as it commits to it's own internal logic. When one of the first things that happens in your movie is a man drives a car with two wheels off the ground for an extended period of time, you should know what kind of movie you're in for and, at that point, it's really just a matter of personal preference if you like what that movie is or not. If you don't like it, I'm not going to hold it against you; it's just not your kind of film. Me? I was laughing. The movie had some really great comedic moments for me, and it was fairly consistent. Not every joke was laugh out loud, some maybe even fell flat, but the majority of them were solid. Mahoney's dry wit is pretty consistent, and some of the more outlandish moments land reasonably well. Then you have the jokes that rely too much on gross-out humour and shock value, where the punchline is just 'a dog humps his leg' or 'his head enters a horse's ass'. There are other gross-out jokes like that in here, but the reason these two in particular fail is because that's the extent of the joke. 

Steve Guttenberg as Mahoney

To that effect, I feel as though the script could have used one or two more rewrites. I don't know, it just feels a little messy to me. The movie jumps around a lot, and so it should; it has an awful lot of side characters with varied jokes to make around them, after all. The problem is, the movie loses a lot of focus as a result. There is barely any time devoted to Mahoney's 'I'm going to get myself kicked out' plot before he abandons it entirely, and that was the stuff I wanted to see more of. The bigger problem is that there are a lot of really short scenes that lead to a character-specific punchline and then the scene ends. The issue is, if that punchline doesn't land, the scene was pointless, especially since a majority of them really don't do anything to serve the overall story. There is also little-to-no time put into the relationship between Mahoney and Thompson before the movie decides they're in a relationship. Hell, I'd even say there was little-to-no time put into Thompson's character at all, which is a shame considering how well Kim Cattrall does in the role. Here's how I'd structure the movie: throughout the first and second acts you have Mahoney goofing around, trying to get himself booted whilst getting to know the other recruits (and you can tell their stories at the same time) and spending the most time with Thompson so we can see them actually getting to know each other. Through their bond, Mahoney decides he wants to stay (just like he does in the movie, but later in the story) only to finally get kicked out. The third act can pretty much stay as it is, I just think the first two acts could have used a tidy-up. The problem with making such a gag-heavy movie like this is that you still need to build a decent narrative around it, and if the narrative is weak, some of the gags lose something as a result.

Kim Cattrall as Thompson

I also feel like the movie's villain was just a little weak. Not in the sense that he's not a threat to the main character (even though he kind of isn't), or that his motivations are unclear, but mainly because there seemed to be a better pick for the villain role that the movie sets up only to do nothing with. The police chief in the first act, the one who's there for one scene then never appears again, the one that casually spouts some pretty racist, sexist comments like it's nothing; why wasn't he the main villain? You could easily have had him drop in semi-frequently to check in on the progress, and he could have been the bigger presence to really test Mahoney. Instead, we get the little weaselly Lieutenant with loftier dreams in mind, who can never really be a match for Mahoney. He does his job well enough, and G. W. Bailey is great in the role, but there really needed to be that bigger force driving that aspect of the narrative forward. Also, the movie gets a little confused with it's villain's motivations by the end. They make a point at the beginning of saying they want the cadets to quit on their own accord, rather than simply kicking them out, yet they delight in kicking out two cadets towards the end. This is what I was talking about earlier about a movie sticking to it's own internal logic; in general, nothing is truly a plot-hole until it does that.

G. W. Bailey as Harris

I don't want it to sound like I hated this movie, since, like I said, I didn't. I've been mentioning Mahoney a lot in this review so far and, aside from the fact that he's the main character, that's because Steve Guttenberg carries this movie. He was the perfect cast for the laid-back yet stern Mahoney, and he manages to capture the goofiness of the situations while also bringing it down to earth, which serves to make the entire thing more relatable to the audience. It's part of the reason why I wanted more of a focus on that aspect of the story; I wanted to see Mahoney truly tested, and I wanted to see more out of Steve Guttenberg as a result. The rest of the cast do their jobs really well. It's almost useless to point out individual cases since, in general, each character plays up their one character trait for either laughs or otherwise reasonably well. I do want to give a specific mention to Bubba Smith as Hightower, since he has the most range out of the rest of the cast. I like how they give him a bit more focus with the driving thing before we get some real emotion out of him in the next scene. Smith plays it all without going too over-the-top, and it's the perfect way to play this kind of character. Also, Michael Winslow, the guy that does the sound effects, is brilliant and I loved every scene he was in. They always knew exactly how to use him to full effect, and it was just really impressive to boot.

Bubba Smith as Hightower

So, overall, what did I think of Police Academy (1984)? Well, this review may have seemed pretty half-and-half in terms of positive to negative criticism, but at the end of the day, this movie's main goal was to make me laugh, and I did quite a lot, so I am leaning more towards the positive side of the critical response. It's one of those movies I can put on if I'm just looking for something light-hearted and silly to pass the time. How this spawned 6 sequels, I couldn't tell you, and, trust me, knowing my OCD I'm sure to get around to those eventually. 6.5/10.