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| Hop (2011) |
Okay, where to begin? Honestly. I have no idea. Do I even need to explain why this movie is bad? Basically everyone who saw the trailers came to said conclusion. Who is this movie even for? I'm usually hesitant to call a movie a 'kid's film', since I legitimately enjoy a majority of movies I've seen that you could argue are made for kids. Admittedly, those are more 'family movies' than 'kid's movies'. The Lego Movie is made for families, but something like Barbie & the 12 Dancing Princesses is clearly for kids. This... it's difficult. Kids aren't going to appreciate James Marsden's story arc or the family dynamic, but families won't come to a uniform opinion on the bunny s***ing jelly beans. You do that, and you've lost the right to call yourself a family movie as far as I'm concerned, but there are a lot of things in here that will just go over kids' heads. Not in a clever kind of way, but a 'They won't understand this' kind of way. It's so confusing; it's a movie about an easter bunny who plays the drums, you don't have to appeal to multiple demographics here. But, of course, Illumination loves appealing to multiple demographics as that's what makes the big bucks. It works for Despicable Me, it doesn't work for jelly bean s***s.
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| Russell Brand as E.B. |
The story isn't even really all that interesting, or, at least, what we see of it isn't. Can we please just retire the story of a magical creature entering the human world and coming across a down-on-his-luck guy. It's getting old. It is old. It's no mystery why, on iMDB, people who liked this movie also said they liked Alvin and the Chipmunks and The Smurfs. It's the exact same story, although I will admit, this is probably the better of the three movies. I don't know, this one does the most to subvert that particular story thread, though it doesn't do nearly enough and it could have done so much more. The chemistry between James Marsden and E.B. is not believable enough to sell the bond between the two. The main problem is how obnoxious and unlikeable E.B. is; the first two thirds of the movie is just him being selfish and ruining James Marsden's life for no reason. It's not charming, it's just annoying. But, then, with 31 minutes of the movie to go, James Marsden realises he wants to be the Easter Bunny, and this honestly should have been the plot the entire time. Yes, it's ridiculous, but it could have worked. Here's how you fix this movie: E.B. doesn't run away (in fact, it's debatable whether or not E.B. even needs to be in it), and instead, James Marsden runs into the actual Easter Bunny. They give the 'human Easter Bunny' thing a crack and that's the movie. You have the Easter Bunny training this guy to take over for whatever reason. You can still have the chicken coup, that's fine, in fact it's actually more appropriate here. The movie just decides in the third act that it needs a villain, even though we don't see Carlos really doing much of anything in the first hour other than pretending to be a bunny. That should have been Carlos' story: a chicken who wants to be a bunny would have played off James Marsden's character much better in my version of this story. You don't get any of the boring drumming scenes, David Hasselhoff doesn't need to be forced in here, and the family could actually be more involved. That dynamic was somewhat interesting, and could have been much better if it was given more of a focus, instead of playing backseat to Russell Brand the entire time.
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| James Marsden as Fred |
Okay, let's talk about the acting, starting with Russell Brand. I... like him. I do. I like Russell Brand. He's not for everyone, but from what I've seen of him in various British panel shows, I like his style. It's unique and can be funny; I've seen it be really funny. It just doesn't translate here. It's so painfully obvious the entire time that it's Russell Brand's voice that you just can't take him seriously. In fact, when he's actually talking like Russell Brand would, it's actually a little funny. Again, probably not for everyone, but I chuckled occasionally. James Marsden does the best he can, bless him, but it's just not enough. He's charming enough, he's a believable lazy sod and he sells the situation as best he can; he's just let down by a bad script. He gets the most 'funny' moments in the entire movie, by far. 'Funny' is in air quotes, by the way, since the comedy could have been much, much better. Again, I chuckled in moments, and it was more than I though I would, but the fact that I can't really remember a single joke now is a little telling. The Pink Berets were funny, I'll give them that, and fittingly adorable, so there's that. Anyway, the rest of the acting is fine. Kaley Cuoco basically just plays Penny again, Gary Cole is your typical disappointed father, Hugh Laurie read his lines well, and Hank Azaria continues to get shafted by Hollywood. Nothing new in any of the above, so let's move on.
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| Kaley Cuoco as Sam |
I've been putting off talking about the animation, because I'm a little conflicted about it. Whenever we're on Easter Island, the animation's great, and the beginning scene of watching the candy get prepared was actually really good, and got me in too good a mood for the rest of the movie to get progressively boring from there on out, but in general the animation was fine. When in Los Angeles, however, we get the biggest showcase for why the 'magical creature visits a real world city' trope needs to die: it just does not look good. The Smurfs, the Chipmunks, and now E.B.: not once did the illusion of animation convince me they were really there. In fact, having the bunny be animated and everything else be CGI just drew attention to it even more, as it always does. Why couldn't the entire thing have just been CG? They could have made James Marsden's slapstick moments much more comical instead of just cutting away, and they could have been more creative when it came to the magic of Easter. Why did they just have Santa's sleigh, but with a palette swap? Also, I say 'magic of Easter', but even though there is Easter magic here, it's hideously unclear what it is. Fred needs the magic of Easter to be an Easter bunny, but we never see what it does to him once he gets it. How does it make him better at being an Easter Bunny? Why didn't it turn him into a half-bunny like it did with Carlos? Why did the movie stop after he became an Easter Bunny even though that's the most interesting thing the movie did? Why was absolutely f***ing everyone in this movie so ridiculously calm at seeing a talking rabbit? These questions, and many more, are things the writers just didn't think about when making this movie, and just churned out a movie they hoped would please the masses and appeal to that rabid Easter-movie audience that definitely exists.
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| Hank Azaria as Carlos |
Seriously, why is this movie? Hop (2011) is just a mess. I've definitely seen worse, but I've absolutely seen better. I'm tempted to give this movie points for no Minion-esque side characters, given the studio's reputation, but that shouldn't be a benchmark for quality. Do better, Illumination. Just... just do better. 3/10.
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