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| Twilight (2008) |
Okay, let's get the good stuff out of the way, because there's not a lot. I will say that one of the most redeeming elements of the movie is Billy Burke's performance as Charlie Swan. I don't know why or how, but this character was one of the only truly likeable characters in this thing. I don't say that like every other character is reprehensible, or even unlikeable, but no one else is really that interesting. Charlie is awesome, though. Again, I'm not sure what it is, maybe it's just Burke's portrayal, but he's a really charming character, and I was so on board with him, I only wish his arc had a bit more resolution. He was really only there to service Bella's arc, which is fine and all (except it really isn't) but I would have liked to have seen more of him. Also, and I can't believe I'm saying this, they actually do a solid job of building the intrigue around Edward and the Cullens. There's actually a really well-paced build to the reveal, and they also do a good job of dropping enough hints so that it's believable that Bella would figure it out.
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| Billy Burke as Charlie Swan |
Unfortunately, everything after that point is awful. Like I said, I was on board with Bella and Edward before the reveal. I could believe that she'd be intrigued by him and he'd certainly be interested in her considering the unique thing the movie reveals about her. It was all heading in the right direction, and I could have believed they would have gone on to date each other. But then Edward mentions that he's a hunter and he wanted to kill her and he still kinda wants to and Bella says "I don't care, I'm in love, lololololol" and the movie lost me. By that point, all hope was lost, and I stopped caring about their relationship. The film might have won me back if Stewart and Pattinson were giving their best performances, but you can kinda tell they can't believe any of this either, so they sort of... don't try. Occasionally they both give good performances here, but they're not believable in the romance. Also, Stewart needed to open her goddamn mouth, because I could barely understand half of her lines. She sort of mumbled her way through this, which is weird because I thought she was really impressive in the Zathura movie, and that came out 3 years before this. Everyone loves to give Stewart and Pattinson a lot of hate for these movies, but they've been good in other things. It's just that you can tell they can't stand doing this, so they're not really trying. I guess I don't blame them, but I think I would rather they put their all into it to try and salvage it somewhat. Commitment is key, and though I can easily see why, they just weren't committed.
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| Kristen Stewart as Bella Swan |
Oh, but can we talk about the rest of the town? Specifically Bella's new friends that she meets on her first day? Oh, my God, this was so confusing to me. Everyone seemed to know who she was on her first day, but not only that, they had this really strange fascination with her as if they'd never seen another human before. It was creepy. It felt like something out of the Twilight Zone. I guess the point was to make everyone else look unappealing to Bella in order to make Cullen look more desirable, but that wasn't the effect it had on me. It played more like the beginning of a thriller where someone new comes to town and everyone's acting strange for no reason but then you realise that everyone in town is a horrifying monster. Well, this was the same except the horrifying monsters here were actually more normal than the human townspeople. It may seem weird to dwell on this, but it was actually creeping me out in the entire first act. There are also a couple of lines and at some points entire conversations that feel... off. Like they don't fit where they were put. It's a little hard to explain, but occasionally the dialogue feels unnatural, somethings don't segue properly into other things, other lines are a complete tonal shift, ehh, again, it's hard to explain. I would say watch the movie to see what I mean but... you know.
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| Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen |
But, by far, the worst thing about this movie is just that it was poorly made. That might sound a little weird, but here me out. There are a lot of instances where either the editing or the shot composition was just... bad. There's a shot very early in the movie where a truck drives past and no one's in the driver's seat. Or when Bella and Edward are having a conversation and they cut away briefly but when they cut back it's raining suddenly but then they cut back to the same scene a few shots later and not only is it no longer raining but both Edward and Bella are dry as a bone. And they're both wearing the same clothes, so you know it's not a different day. Ooh, ooh, or what about the world's longest kiss-lean, which takes 4 different shots and approximately 25 seconds of screen-time. Or how sometimes you can see the sunlight hitting Edward's skin and he doesn't sparkle? The movie can't even stick to its own rules! But, by far, the worst offender is the scene where Bella and Edward are walking behind some people and in the very next shot (and I do mean the VERY next shot) one of the people directly in front of them has been replaced with someone completely different and now has an entirely different hairstyle, a bright pink jumper and a hat. That is inexcusable. This is honestly one of the most poorly made films I've ever seen, and without this rubbish editing, I might have just walked out of here calling this a boring movie. But, you done did it. Now it's a bad movie.
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| Peter Facinelli as Carlisle Cullen |
Twilight (2008) wasn't quite as bad as I was expecting it to be, but especially compared to Alien and Terminator from earlier this month, this was such a huge drop in quality. I've still got four of these movies to get through, and from what I've heard they just keep getting worse, so I'm certainly not looking forward to them. For now, though, this stands as the worst film of the month, though I can't imagine it'll stay that way for very long. 3/10.
Tomorrow: Mad Max.
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